Haze
by silentmusic16
Summary: Tried out a new style inspired by chillwave music. AU. RxN. Oneshot, complete.


**Chillwave music is the best kind of music in the summer (which is what today felt like). This oneshot was inspired by the night full of chillwave that I've been having. I was also in the mood to experiment with a new style, so that's how this was written. Enjoy.**

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Hazy golden sunlight flashed in my eyes on a Sunday afternoon. Along the shore, the sound of the waves filled my ears with its calming ebb and flow. I was utterly alone and utterly in peace.

Bike tire track marks like veins in the sand lead up to my position on the edge of the sea, a heart in the center of the world. The chirps of seagulls soaring overhead were another constant sound; it mixed in with the surf. I was utterly alone and utterly at peace.

The sand was grainy like a fine sugar and almost bone white, bleached by the unforgiving sun above. Breezy air propelled the sailing vessels that I could barely see out at sea. On those boats people were fishing and chatting and grilling and living. I was utterly alone and utterly at peace.

Why was I on the beach that day? I couldn't tell you. I stumbled there half in a daze and only realized my place when the confusion wore off. Trying to think of early in the day brought up blanks in my memory, missing frames in a film reel. I yelled out to the sky "Tell me why I'm here." No reply was given. I was utterly alone and utterly at peace.

I could remember the day before. I had been on the same beach and partying with some friends. Inconsequential conversations were barely heard over blasting music and my entire field of vision was filled with bodies that moved rhythmically to a beat coming from oversized monolithic speakers. A light show had been set up and the beams of colored light blinked in a pattern. We were visible from far out at sea. I was surrounded by many and surrounded by comforting chaos.

I woke up the next morning in the daze that brought me to the beach. Vibrant green palm fronds helped me find my way when I couldn't think. Cottony clouds overhead floated in the air. I was utterly alone and utterly at piece.

She must've found me sometime in the late afternoon as the sun began its slow decent. Her billowy white dress was oddly comforting; I thought I had seen her in something similar the night before. I was utterly alone and utterly at peace.

She asked "Why are you here?" and I couldn't give her an answer. "I asked that myself." I was utterly alone and utterly at peace.

Unconnected tidbits of memory trickled into my mind. I woke up in my bed with many people from the party littering the floor. The sun had already risen and was high in the sky. I hadn't changed my clothes before I hopped up and boarded my bike. On the ride I saw not a soul. I was utterly alone and utterly at peace.

Too much time had passed for me to have just headed straight to the beach. Where had I gone? My clothes faintly smelled of citrus and it brought back more memories. I had ridden my bike to an orange grove hidden between high rise buildings that stood upon the cliff overlooking the sea. I was utterly alone and utterly at peace.

"You're bleeding" she noted while, after sucking on her finger for a moment, she wiped off warm, sticky blood from the top of my head. Was this the cause of my confusion? I thanked her and turned back to watch the waves swallow the shore before spitting them back out covered in seafoam so white it hurt to look. I was utterly alone and utterly at peace.

The night before came back to me in stronger pulses. I had danced, though to what I couldn't remember. There were too many people around to even think straight – some faces were familiar, others I couldn't place. The party had started not long after dark and ended...sometime. I was surrounded by many and surrounded by comforting chaos.

The haze of my mind reminded me of the sunlight I was bathed in. Maybe the two were connected in some metaphysical way that I could never explain. Certainly that'd clarify why I had been drawn to the beach. I was utterly alone and utterly at peace.

"I called you earlier. You said you'd be here." She said. I still couldn't see her face clearly, but I nodded in her direction. Another piece added to the proverbial puzzle. From the orange grove I headed to her house. No one answered when I rang the bell, so I left. I was utterly alone and utterly at peace.

She had been at the party the night before as well; I could remember this clearly now. We'd shared some sort of drink and laughed and laughed and laughed. I recalled walking off of the beach with her, but where to was still missing. I was utterly alone and utterly at peace.

The smell of the surf was comforting. It had the unmistakable scent of salt and fresh air. I longed to be out there, sailing under the sun and without a care. I was utterly alone and utterly at peace.

She said "I had a nice time last night. Just thought you should know that". I nodded to respond. At least she could remember it. I was utterly alone and utterly at peace.

Namine, she told me, was her name. Her last name was still unknown. We had traveled around town and ended up at her place. Spent the night together, I think, and then I left sometime during the sunrise. When I arrived home my room was filled with party goers and I crashed onto my bed the way waves hit the shore. I could still feel that faint ebb and flow in my muscles while I drifted off. I was utterly alone and utterly at peace.

I was pulled from my reverie of memories when I felt her head on my shoulder. Her hair smelled of the sea breeze. The scent brought back thoughts of being so intimate with her that I couldn't help but feel slightly exposed in my current skin. I needed a tougher hide or a bolder consciousness. I was utterly alone and utterly at peace.

Soon enough the sun was barely there anymore, yet the air was still hazy. Varying shades of blues and oranges and pinks blended in with one another in the sky above and twinkling stars like droplets of light grew stronger and stronger. I was utterly alone and utterly at peace.

I could still feel the heat of the day and it brought me the final puzzle peace. After she hadn't answered her door I hopped back on my bike and traveled the length of the town until I ended up on the sand of the shore. The party I had been at the night before hadn't been planned; it was an impromptu activity a group of people I knew came up with. I had been invited by text and arrived when the festivities were in full swing. I was surrounded by many and surrounded by comforting chaos.

"Let's go." She said, and grabbed my hand. I rose to my feet and followed her to my bicycle. She sat on the handlebars and I pedaled us somewhere. Anywhere. She lead me up to the roof of her apartment building, where we watched the last of the sun burn out against the dark blue water. It was extinguished like a candle's flame. The sky grew dark and we just kept staring and staring and staring, hoping to find answers that would never come to the questions we'd never ask.

We were utterly alone and utterly at peace.

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**Reviews are welcome - I'd like to know what you readers thought. Was it ****pretentious? Confusing? Good? I won't know without reader input.**


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